My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize