is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
