What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
All I want is dick and wine.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
