Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
