i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
