so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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