There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
