I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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