i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He kissed a someone with a penis
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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