so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
