I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize