Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
