Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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