You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
