you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
