"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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