Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
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Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
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I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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