Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
