Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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