Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
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