i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
