Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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