I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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