so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
