i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
They took my balls.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
there is glitter all over my balls
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