She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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