just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
