guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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