My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
