Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
