oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
