I'm really into asian looking animals
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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