He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
