I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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