I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
