i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
