he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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