I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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