Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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