Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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