Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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