Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You need a sexual gate keeper
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
