meet me or not, i'm out of control
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
