my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize