I am puke
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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