Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
