Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
