I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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