I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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