You just made me feel so damn special
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
