So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He did a backflip because drugs
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
