captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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