HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
