Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits http://tfl.nu/rsyd
  Replies (54) Good night (1334) Bad night (7197)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand. (1-810): nice, that's exactly what jesus would do. http://tfl.nu/jen7
  Replies (19) Good night (4275) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk. http://tfl.nu/iths
  Replies (47) Good night (1022) Bad night (3842)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team http://tfl.nu/ke7v
  Replies (42) Good night (6155) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain? http://tfl.nu/hz7f
  Replies (17) Good night (894) Bad night (3656)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer http://tfl.nu/w7yv
  Replies (8) Good night (2250) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): A beer is a heart your wish makes!!! http://tfl.nu/w148
  Replies (4) Good night (1437) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist. http://tfl.nu/1sb8
  Replies (7) Good night (2295) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay. http://tfl.nu/q60w
  Replies (1) Good night (1009) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for. http://tfl.nu/bju4
  Replies (2) Good night (801) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/r0ud
  Replies (11) Good night (1679) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave. http://tfl.nu/epbn
  Replies (1) Good night (674) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk? (1-306): you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you... http://tfl.nu/x6zk
  Replies (0) Good night (1399) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody http://tfl.nu/kf7d
  Replies (4) Good night (670) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): 4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden. http://tfl.nu/r37f
  Replies (3) Good night (589) Bad night (234)

Randomize