I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon