Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.

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(904): View more from Florida

We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.

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(905): View more from Ontario

The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(631): View more from New York

Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack

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(314): View more from Missouri

one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.

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(+61): View more from Australia

Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse

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(503): View more from Oregon

I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.

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(281): View more from Texas

dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though

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