You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Operation Purity has been aborted
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
