There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
