bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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