And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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