just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize