I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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