Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you would pick up someone in the library
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
