There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
my liver is dry heaving
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
