i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
