Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
