I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
