Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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